You're ok. I'm ok. We're ok.

Dear Kelly,

My time at 935 Echo Lane has officially ended; yours, on the other hand, has just barely begun. I'm not great at giving advice, but there are some things you should know about good old MHS before you ever step foot in those color coded hallways.

It's a unique school, not like any other. To get the most out of it, you must first understand those who makes up the school. We are often stereotyped or people come in thinking they know what we're all like. And yes, some people do fit the stereotype, but they're a very small minority. And then there are many who seem like they are the stereotypical "Memorial girl" on the outside. They might have the big house, a lot of friends, or a nice car, but do not be fooled by appearances. Don't take them for what's on the outside. Give them the benefit of the doubt. I judged a lot of people in my grade throughout high school only to find out that one girl struggled from the most vicious insecurity that lead to an eating disorder, one girl lost her aunt a week before graduation and was torn up over it, or that the talkative girl in the front of my english class tried to kill herself, twice.

So don't you ever judge them. For if you do, you will find yourself sitting in your english class on the last week of your senior year broken over those who struggled with abusive parents or parents who passed away, because you never got over your pride and gave any of them a chance.

Never tell yourself that you can't do anything. Once you say it, it's true, and only because you told yourself you couldn't. Learn to discern between the voice of the Lord and that of Satan's. Satan wants to destroy those who can do the most for the Lord, and those who are threat to him. So he'll probably try to mess with your head. He'll probably say you're not good enough to be friends with so and so. He'll put a mean thought in your head about the girl next to you. He'll tell you that you can't do something, and that you will never feel apart of something. Don't believe him. I did, and it destroyed my relationship with God. Captivate your thoughts, stay in close contact with the Lord and you'll be fine.

Don't forget to just enjoy yourself. For when you have two lab reports to write up, a vocab test the next day, a map due for world geography, and a pile of laundry waiting to be done, remember that in the end, nothing matters but the Lord. So every once in a while, let the homework sit for just a few more minutes, tell yourself that wearing those jeans again without washing them isn't so bad, and grab a good book, finish that movie you've been meaning to, or call up that friend you've been saying you'll have coffee with them for forever now, because once the hats go up in the air at graduation you might look back and wish that you had enjoyed life a little bit more.

Don't worry about college. Don't do things just to put on your resume, do the things that you love. Dont' get discouraged when you fail or when things don't go your way, we all have been there.

But above all, love the Lord and pursue Him constantly. Don't ever be ashamed of yourself or try to be someone your not. If you be yourself, you just might be surprised at the responses you get. Let the Lord shine through you. Smile and laugh alot, it's good for you.

And yes, the great state of Louisiana might separate us, but I'll always be one phone call away.

your sister,

MH

I remember a 12 year old girl who fell in love with Jesus one summer. I remember how her world was turned upside down, and how Jesus became her life. When the Lord would challenge her, she would take it on with no questioning. She didn't care what others thought about her. She would speak boldly about the Lord in front of people with no fear. She knew who she was because Jesus was who she was, and she didn't care if she wasn't the most popular girl because of it.

Sometimes I wonder what happened to that middle school girl who put Jesus first in her life. I try to think about the past four years and wonder why I lost that fervor. Then I remember all those times I believed Satan's lies. I would let myself think that since I was not perfect, I couldn't do anything for the Lord, or that I was better than everybody else. I let walls build up between the Lord and me. My relationship with the Lord became stagnant as I chased after acceptance.

High school was a battle. I lost my voice somewhere along the way and with it, who I was. Not to say that all of high school was bad, there were moments of small victories, and times where I held onto the Lord. I'm not sure the best thing to say is that I'm thankful it's over, but instead that I'm thankful it happened. The Lord is slowly mending my heart, and weaving me back into the woman of God He wants me to be.

Yes, I am not that 12 year old girl anymore and my relationship with the Lord is weak. But, I've heard that trials and weakness are just what we need to amplify the hope we have in Christ.

"Little by little, I will transform your weaknesses into strengths. Remember that your relationship with Me is saturated in grace. Therefore, nothing that you do or don't do can separate you from My Presence."

-Jesus Calling

Praise the Lord.

I am not a scientist. I don't necessarily enjoy science. I don't plan on doing anything with my life that involves a massive amount of science. So why in the world did I decided to take AP Bio? I don't know.

But I am as of today, officially done with AP Biology, and therefore done with science forever.

Although my inclination towards biology and all things science is anything but large, I actually ended up enjoying the class. There you go Mrs. Strait, I said it.

I got the joy of spending my senior year with a textbook called Biology. How creative. It was 1,000 pages of information upon information. One thing I learned in biology is that you will never know everything about biology. The subject's infinite. The amount of stuff that people know about it could fill up book after book and the amount of things yet to be discovered is limitless.

Through seeing how the nerve cell is structured in just the right was so that impulses can reach our brain the fastest, how negative feedback allows for a reaction to be suppressed if the product becomes overwhelming, how hormones are regulated in our body , I saw glimpses of God's perfection. Everything we learned about seemed to just scream out God's name. Everything pointed to the Lord. Why in the world do the enzymes in our body work perfectly at the temperature our body is normally functions? What triggers cells to undergo mitosis? My teacher would say "look at this! and how structure fits its function" all the time. It was one of those "AP themes" on which they like to test us.

I remember one time my teacher was lecturing about the nervous system and at one point all she could say was "wow" over and over again. All I could think was God over and over again.

Creation is crying out to the Lord. That's what I got out of biology this year. That our God is perfect, and that if we keep silent, the rocks really will cry out.

Over the past year, the foundation of my faith has been cracked. I've been looking for some concrete answers, something on which to hold, something where I can say with confidence "this is why I believe what I believe." But I haven't found that solid evidence. In fact, I'm realizing that I shouldn't be seeking a concrete answer.

Think about it. If there were some evidence that was obvious and unquestionable that Jesus Christ is Lord, then there would be no need for faith, no need for trust, and really no need for Christ.

I believe the answer is in the eyes.

Just look at those who follow Christ when they talk about the Lord. It makes me think about my pastor and how he always has a certain radiance when preaching, or my sunday school teacher sophomore year who would get goose bumps when teaching a lesson.

I was watching a video of the Passion World Tour (if you don't know what Passion is all about go check out www.268generation.com. It is seriously worth your time.) and Louie Giglio, who heads up Passion, was talking about a man that helped coordinate Passion Tokyo. The man originally didn't want to help out because it was a Christian conference, but decided to do it anyway.

He ended up hanging around the conference center the night of Passion Tokyo to see what it was all about. He came back and told Louie the next day:

"I've never seen anything like tonight. The eyes of the young people tonight were shinning, and there was something different in the room. "

It's us. We are the proof that Jesus is Lord.

"But the Lord said to ananias, 'Go! This man is my chosen instrument to carry my name.'" Acts 9:15

*All picture credit goes to Passion Conferences.

Shaken.

Passion was a whirlwind. One that I am still continuing to learn from. One of the most vivid moments I have from that weekend was during a song called Set Free by Chris Tomlin. Now I had bought the Passion CD a week or two before the actual event and fell in love with the song even before I got there. Set Free is basically a Christian version of a pump up song. So when we were in one of the main sessions and Chris Tomlin began to sing Set Free, I was ready to just go crazy. Luckily, one of my friends next to me was also loving the song and we went crazy together.

There's a line in the song that says "And we'll dance, dance, dance in Your freedom. O your glorious freedom, forever more." And basically everyone in the arena starts jumping up and down and dancing like fools for the Lord.

So there was about 10,000 students at this conference. And there are now at this point 10,000 students dancing for the Lord. It was a beautiful sight. But all the sudden my friend next to me stops dancing, waits a few seconds, and then turns to me and says:

"Mary Helen, can you feel it? The ground is shaking."

Sometimes I wish I could relive that moment over and over again. 10,000 college students jumping and dancing all for the glory of God. But then I think about how 10,000 of us are now scattered around the globe carrying the name of Jesus. One of the coolest things I took away from Passion is that I am not alone. There are still thousands of students and adults who passionately love the Lord and want to serve them with their life. Now, every time I look at my wristband I am reminded of that moment when the ground was shaking and how it must still be shaking because 10,000 plus of us are out there carrying the name that is above every name.

#It'sgotime #Jesusmovement

Slipping away.

I've reached a place in my life where I'm running to the Lord saying "Daddy I'm scared." I feel like time is slipping away from me. To where I can't make it slow down and savor everything that is sweet in my life. My mind is going in five thousand different directions.

I think what's rocked my world the most lately is the fact that I'm slowly realizing that I'm going to college in a few short months. Let's be honest. I never really thought I was actually going to go to college. Not in a I'll never get in kind of way but in a that's so far off, I don't think it will actually happen kind of way. But here I am, heading to MC in just a few short months. My life in Houston will cease to exist. I'm moving. And moving on.

Don't get me wrong, I'm stoked. I sometimes find myself in class just daydreaming about being up at MC. But Houston is all I've known. It's always been home.

There's always been Monday night players rehearsal where Margaret tells me the newest story about something that happened at her school. There's always been donut Fridays in biology. There's always been Impact, and Camp Tallowood.

But when did I find myself driving down my street looking at my ten year old neighbor who I used to babysit when she was four? When did I find myself getting letters about senior recognition Sunday at church?

Life is moving fast. Faster than I can seem to keep up with. I was never supposed to go to college. I was never supposed to graduate high school. But maybe it's about time.

Lord, lead the way.

Comfort

This beautiful girl to the left is Diana. And I have absolutely fallen in love with her. I think some people look at her and see her disabilities and the obstacles she has to deal with. But for me, I just see perfection and God's masterpiece.

Every time I see Diana I'm always reminded of the idea of comfort for those who follow Christ. At Spark(our disciple now weekend) the speaker said "It's really great to live in America because we have everything we need. It's also bad to live in America because we have everything we need." It's so easy for me to get scared and stay in my comfort zone. I remember at Passion a few weeks ago just sitting in one of the worship sessions begging the Lord that I would go out and proclaim His name with fear and awe. That I wouldn't slip back into an easy life.

But I get nervous and I look around and think about going to school, and being in newspaper and math class, and all that biology homework I have to do. And suddenly I lose that ferver. I let the Lord fade back into a God that fits in better with my schedule. Because Jesus is sometimes scary. What I mean is that, following Jesus is scary. Getting yourself to the point in your life when you can say "To live is Christ, and to die is gain" is not an easy road.

Over the weekend, I watched a documentary called Beware of Christians that they had given us at Passion. Essentially, it is these four college guys who are Christians and they set out and backpack through Europe and ask people about what it means to be a Christian in hopes of finding out how Jesus "fits into American Christianity."

Well one of the guys was introducing himself and he said "Hi I'm Adam(or whatever his name was) and I'm a Christian, I'm just not sure I'm following Christ."

This is a scary statement. At least, it put fear into me. As Americans, it's easy to ignore the world around us. It's easy to live in our bubble, and only take care of ourselves. We're comfortable.

A wise friend once told me that kids with special needs are not here for us to teach them, but for them to teach us. And that's how it is with Diana. We're the ones with disabilities, not Diana. And the same is true for us followers of Christ who live in "comfort". We're the ones with the real disabilities. Christ does not call us to comfort.

I know for me, that means fighting daily the urge to serve a God whose comfortable to me.