The best letters are those read while walking across the quad in 75 degree weather.

The best moments happen on the closet floor at 7 a.m. on the phone with your mom.

The best days are spent in complete and total dependence on the Lord.

The best prayers are those of honesty and vulnerability.

The best beauty is that which comes through humility.

The best circumstances are those that drive you to the feet of Jesus.

The best choices are those which force you to stand for something.

The best text messages come in the middle of watching Taming the Shrew in theater class.

The best struggle is that of surrendering everything you are to Christ.

The best victories are those unexpected.

The best fights are those of faith.

The best laid plans are those given to God.

The best expectation is Christ.

The other day I came back from follies practice to find a gift basket at my door and a very excited roommate waiting to see my face as I walked in. Inside the basket was a bunch of candy, t-shirts, and other odds and ends from my big. But the thing I enjoyed most was the note from her inside the journal she gave me. I read it over and over again wondering who in the world my big could be. Nothing was concluded about the identity of my big other than the fact that she has really nice handwriting.

But the Lord opened my eyes to something as I was reading over her note before I went to bed. At the end of the note she wrote "I am so excited that you are my little." As simple as that sentence was, it really struck a chord in my heart. I am somebody's little, whoever she is. I am apart of her family, whoever they are. But I am HER little and she is MY big. Which got me thinking, isn't that so how it is with the Lord?

In Ephesians Pauls tells us that "In Him, we were also chosen" and that "He predestined us to be adopted as sons through Jesus Christ". This was God's plan, for us to become a part of His family. He chose me to be in His family, to be His daughter. I am HIS. How easily do I forget this? How easily do I live like I'm not a child of God, like I'm not apart of His family?

I got baptized when I was 16 in the Nueces River at my church camp in west Texas. I remember that whole week leading up to getting baptized. I had been in a bad spot with the Lord for a while and was struggling with insecurity so deep I didn't think I could recover from. Satan had a grip on me, telling me I wasn't good enough for the Lord to take me back. But the Lord worked His way into my heart by His grace and I decided that I didn't want to be manipulated by Satan anymore. I was the Lord's now. I remember being very nervous about getting baptized, I was scared of what people were going to think of me and if I had the strength to live my life for the Lord. But the Lord brought a verse from a song to my mind as I walked into the water that Friday morning.

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow

the sun forbear to shine

but God who called me here below

will be forever mine

will be forever mine

You are forever mine

The last line kept repeating in my head as I walked out of the river that morning. I am forever the Lord's. Simple as that.

"Having believed, you were marked in Him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession-to the praise of His glory." Ephesians 1:13-14

I am marked with a seal. I am God's possession. He is MINE and I am HIS. How wonderful is that?

So thank big, whoever you are, for that much needed reminder this week. I can't wait to find out who you are.

All together now

Break my heart, Lord. Open me up and heal me. I am wounded, I am broken beyond belief. May I not try to be anything but who you created me to be. May I be yours and your alone. Take my heart Lord, let it be all for you and for your glory. Help me remember your faithfulness, but mostly help me trust you completely.

I am yours. I am not my own. Give me the strength to let others in. Open up my heart to them. Help me love those around me. I don't want to be cliche, Lord. I just want to follow you. I didn't expect to be challenged Lord. I didn't expect it to be like this. But it's so much better. So so much better.

I want to sit in your presence again. I mean really sit. I want to feel you with me and rest in your peace. Let the cry of my heart be Jesus. Let the motivation of my actions be Jesus. We are yours, Lord. We are yours. I am yours.

"Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose." Philippians 2:12-13

Lord, work in me. Rock my world. Turn it upside-down. Uproot me. Shape me. Mold me. Become my everything.

Caitlyn

I never thought as a senior in high school, I would find strength in the eyes of a sixth grade girl. But this past summer, that is exactly what happened.

Most days I long for that moment again. I think about how angry I was at the Lord, and about how frustrated my situation had made me. I remember the way the Lord humbled me. I also remember how in that moment, as I sat on that bright green sleeping bag with a 12 year old little girl named Caitlyn, the only thing that came out of my mouth was a song.

I'm not a singer. I've always wished that I was, but unfortunately my brother got that gene in our family and the rest of us have had to get by in children's choir and middle school choir learning to artfully and gracefully lisping. But as Caitlyn looked at me with those big blue eyes full of tears, and signs of fear and loneliness, all I could do was sing "our God is greater, our God is stronger, our God is higher than any other, our God is healer, awesome in power, our God, our God" over and over again.

By this time, my newfound cabinmates had stopped there game of "let's see who can scream the loudest" and the people who were now passing by our quarantine room gave confused looks as they went about their nighttime activities. For the first time that day, I felt the Lord's peace. In those few moments, I knew I served a faithful God. I knew His plan was perfect. He knew I needed Caitlyn just as much as she needed me.

Sometimes I wish I could relive that moment. I wish I could sit there with Caitlyn again and sing over her. I wish I could feel the Lord's sovereignty again as I did in those moments. I wish I could look into her eyes and find the strength to withstand the storm.

That night as I stopped singing, I apologized to her for my inability to hit any note. She then said to me "No, no, I liked it." So we picked up again together this time. A kind of silence filled the room. The whole atmosphere had changed. The sorrow had gone, the tears had dried up, and we all knew the Lord was watching over us.

The Lord provides. He always provides.

I really want to have a long chat with my best friend over some cookie dough right now.

I want things to start to fall into place.

I want to wake up in the morning with a desire to dig into the word and be rooted in it.

I want to be selfless.

I want to go throughout my day remembering who I am, but mostly whose I am.

I want to lose myself in the Lord.

I want to quit surviving and start thriving.

I want to be receptive of people's love and be able to return it.

But most of all, I want comfort.

But I know I don't need comfort.

I know I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.

I'm thankful for being out of my comfort zone.

I'm thankful for this discomfort because I know the Lord is faithful.

Lord please, tell me the story again. Help me remember. Lead me by still waters. I want to be near you and listen to you speak. I am here. My heart has wandered, but I am here. I need you. I need to hear the story again. I want to hear of your faithfulness and of your grace. I want to hear how you use the weak and how you strengthen them. I want to worship at your feet. Let the world pale in comparison to You. Let me come before You with a pure heart, Lord.

Daughter,

Give me your hand. Now don't be scared, I know you can't see the other side but I'll be right here the whole time. Find your courage in me, I will sustain you. You are my daughter, I created you for this moment right now, and for this place. This is where you will go, and you will grow in me. This is your home. Life is not going to be perfect, but in following me you will never have an easy life. That is not what is best for you. Here, I will challenge you, I will equip you, I will mold you, and I will fill you. My child, seek me every day, for you will find me. I am here, always. Don't ever think you are not good enough for my love. I want you. I gave up everything for you. Look at me, I want you to remember who you are for you are mine. Rise up, o child, and fulfill my purpose for you. I can't tell you everything right now. You will find out in due time.

For I will cover you with my feathers, and under my wings you will find refuge; my faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror or night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked If you make the Most High your dwelling-even the Lord, who is your refuge-then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. For I will command my angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.

Go, and be in this place. This is your home. Fight the good fight of faith. Take courage. Don't look back. Give me your hand, I can't wait till you get to see what's in store. It's a pretty good plan if I do say so myself.

all my love,

your heavenly father

Divide and Multiply.

This is a dream, a dream for the world to see You

a dream for the world to know You, to love Your name

Lift up a shout, lift up a cry to shake the ground

Shout and the walls are coming down
Yeah, we're running after You.

Like meiosis and mitosis. Multiply. Magnify. Amplify. Let's do it. It's go time.