I hate reminders of how broken I am. I hate that I'm so sinful. I hate that I have reasons for my shame. I desire so much to be whole.

I am claimed. The Lord has looked down on this broken child of His and said "you are mine". But I'm not home yet. My body is still in this flesh. I have to momently fight my selfish desires. Oh how much I want to give up. How frustrated I am with myself. But yet in my moments of missing the mark, His love never fails. At the end of the day, He still sings songs over me. He quiets me with His voice. He still holds me. He still holds His dirty, unclean, unholy daughter. He reassures me that I am His. He promises that I won't have to live in my flesh forever.

How magnificent that our Father still loves His children that continually go against Him. That run away again and again, and He just patiently pursues us. In our moments of disobedient He looks at us and says, "that is my child whom I love." I deserve eternal death for what I've done. I am so unholy. I am reminded of just how much I need my Savior, my precious precious Savior. My Father, my Healer, who speaks for sinful Mary Helen on my behalf. Who took my shame and my sin, and put it on the cross and said "It is finished". Who fought the battle for me before I even existed.

It amazes me how this terribly unclean, nasty heart can be wiped clean and made anew. How daily His mercies are new for me. How in this flesh, I can say with confidence "I am redeemed".