I always get a good laugh around 6:25 in the morning as our four fifteen passenger vans truck out of the forge apartment and set out towards north Tyler. It's a sight to see really, packing us all in there like sardines. But then again, there is this serious tug on my heart that finds such beauty in those moments.

I wake up, and it's a new day dawning. I lift my head out of the pillow and I know it's time. One song comes to mind, bless the Lord O my soul. It's time to sing His song again. I fumble down from my top bunk bed as gracefully as possible, and sleepily walk over to my suitcase. I grab some clothes in the darkness of my room and hope that they match to some extent. I look outside and the darkness encompasses our apartment. I know the sun is on it's way up. I grab a granola bar off the top of my drawer and head to the kitchen to fill up my water bottle. I look around our living room as I turn on the faucet and see some of my coworkers already talking to the Lord about today. Excitement fills my heart as I am encouraged by the example set before me. I grab my backpack and head out the door.

We all stand out there together in front of our vans, still a little groggy from our early morning rise. At 6:15 sharp we all physically put our hand on a van. This is it, it's all starting. My heart continues to sing, Bless the Lord O my soul. We begin to load up as the usual apple cinnamon granola bars and breakfast burritos are making their way around the vans. As the vans begin to pull out, I feel this sense of community. I feel apart of something vast. I feel like we are an army heading out to conquer the great enemy. I glimpse back as we head down the hill and I see the other three vans behind us, full of my brothers and sisters, all heading towards the same goal. It's a moment of appreciation really, of something that I probably wouldn't see if I didn't stop and look around me. It's something I would miss if I wasn't careful.

I being to think about the day ahead of me, of the battle I'm going to have to fight against my flesh. I feel discouraged because of my sin and my struggle towards holiness. I begin to form a goal in my mind for the day. Let me be singing when the evening comes, Bless the Lord O my soul. As I watch the sun rise over the city, I begin to hope that as I watch the sun set that evening, the song on my lips will still be Bless the Lord O my soul. I am becoming more aware of my brokenness, and my challenge for the day seems to be less attainable on my own strength. But I hear a whisper in my ear. I ignore it at first, not really believing it's there. But softly the voice speaks again, do not be afraid. I am reminded of the Lord's faithfulness as we approach our destination. The vans pull to a stop and I take a deep breath in. I say it one more time in my head for reminder, Bless the Lord O my soul. I step out of the van onto the concrete and I'm finally there. It's go time. Let the battle begin.

I think one of the greatest lessons in life one can learn is selflessness.

I don't say this because I've learned it yet. But the idea that my life is in no way about me has come to the forefront of my thoughts.

It all started with the pursuit of excellence and a thousand tiny baby dragonflies.

Realizing that you can work harder in your life than you ever have and never get the thanks you deserve for it can discourage you.

For me, it was to the point that I wanted to take my eyes off what I was doing. I wanted to fix my gaze on something else.

But then you have to know you're actions are held to a high standard. It's the pursuit of excellence.

It doesn't matter if no one notices it, your actions must strive towards excellence.

We serve a God who deserves everything we have. He doesn't deserve our half efforts or human way of thinking. He doesn't want our logic or high thoughts. He just wants our lives. He wants our heart.

That's it.

It is not about me.

So no matter how uncomfortable I am, how tired I am, how annoyed I am, it doesn't matter.

Because it's not about me.

It's Jesus. It's about Jesus. It's for Jesus. It's in Jesus. It's through Jesus.

I am just the clay. I am solely a mouthpiece.

So help me in my selfishness. Keep me accountable in learning this lesson. Bring me back when I go astray for I am so human and I am merely flesh.