I like the dorms like this. I like to sit on my bed and think about life. I picture myself in the arms of Jesus these nights. Just me and him in the quietness of the moments.

I love being in the dorm on Wednesday nights. Wednesday night, as we all know, is church night. At MC that is the time when most students during the week are, for the majority, all off campus at one time. And I know that sounds a little sacrilegious, but I feel like everything is at peace on wednesday night. MC slows down for that little period of time. I feel like I can actually think and get real with the Lord.

Lately I've been faced with a lot of hurt. And by a lot I mean very minuscule, practically nothing compared to the hurt that I continually cause God everyday. I've been thinking a lot about brokenness, mostly in my life but also in the lives of those who I am around. I wonder how in the world are we as Christians to deal with so much brokenness?

The more and more I look at my life, I realize that I can't fix it. I am way more human than I would like to be. I have this high-low roller coaster relationship with God that I continually promise Him I'm going to get better at but I never do. I run away from Him and then come back begging for mercy. I try resolution after resolution. But at the end of the day I'm just broken.

I know the good news. I am saved. I am redeemed. I am made whole again. But then I mess up. And Satan starts to attack me and make me believe that I will never be made whole.

I then look at others. I see people I know know the Lord hurt other people, hurt me, or mess up badly.

I guess I'm just looking and I don't get it. God is here but there is still so much brokenness. There's still slavery. There is still murder. There is still so much hurt. God, where are you?

But as I sit in these moments, letting the presence of Jesus envelop me, I am reminded that He is here in the midst of brokenness, that He comes in spite of our brokenness, and I am slowly being made whole in Him.

Most nights I just ask Jesus to tell me who I am. I lay there and simply listen as he whispers in my ear over and over again "You are fearless." I like the dorms like this, they feel truly safe. I think me and Jesus should meet like this every wednesday night. Just me and Him. I'll sit in His arms and He can remind me who I am.

Yeah, that sounds like a pretty good wednesday night to me.