I am...

I think I'm going about this all the wrong way. Lately, I've been looking for myself in all the wrong places. My English teacher keeps talking about how we need to show colleges who we are in our essays. This has brought me to much searching. I've been trying to compile who I am. I've tried looking for my passion. I've defined myself in so many ways lately that just don't seem to fit. I've started to look around at other people and who they are, and what their passions are.

Bad move. I once heard someone say that comparison is the thief of joy. And they are totally right.

Once I started to look around and see people around me and how much passion and fulfilment they seemed to have in whatever they did, I became jealous. They could define their life. They had something. And I began to question myself. I tried to identify myself with something of the world, some activity that I could do. I so badly wanted to have a passion like my friends had.
I became frustrated with God. I felt left out. Everyone else had something that I didn't.

People always say that Jesus needs to be enough, and that He is enough. This is one of the hardest concepts to grasp. I say that because I have yet to even begin to understand the concept of Him being enough. I run in so many other directions looking for fulfilment.

I think my problem was thinking that I am who I am because of me. I was looking for my heart somewhere in the world, yet didn't realize that it was already with the Lord.

Prone to wander, Lord I feel it.
Prone to leave the God I love.
Here's my heart Lord take and seal it,
Seal it for thy courts above.