I remember a 12 year old girl who fell in love with Jesus one summer. I remember how her world was turned upside down, and how Jesus became her life. When the Lord would challenge her, she would take it on with no questioning. She didn't care what others thought about her. She would speak boldly about the Lord in front of people with no fear. She knew who she was because Jesus was who she was, and she didn't care if she wasn't the most popular girl because of it.

Sometimes I wonder what happened to that middle school girl who put Jesus first in her life. I try to think about the past four years and wonder why I lost that fervor. Then I remember all those times I believed Satan's lies. I would let myself think that since I was not perfect, I couldn't do anything for the Lord, or that I was better than everybody else. I let walls build up between the Lord and me. My relationship with the Lord became stagnant as I chased after acceptance.

High school was a battle. I lost my voice somewhere along the way and with it, who I was. Not to say that all of high school was bad, there were moments of small victories, and times where I held onto the Lord. I'm not sure the best thing to say is that I'm thankful it's over, but instead that I'm thankful it happened. The Lord is slowly mending my heart, and weaving me back into the woman of God He wants me to be.

Yes, I am not that 12 year old girl anymore and my relationship with the Lord is weak. But, I've heard that trials and weakness are just what we need to amplify the hope we have in Christ.

"Little by little, I will transform your weaknesses into strengths. Remember that your relationship with Me is saturated in grace. Therefore, nothing that you do or don't do can separate you from My Presence."

-Jesus Calling

Praise the Lord.