Reminders of His faithfulness: Favor and Grace

I still remember the banging on my door and the moment I opened it. My dear friend Hannah standing there panting and out of breath, attempting to explain through some sort of charades that she too had been hired as a Camp in the City counselor second half. We woke up half of fourth floor east with our screams of excitement. We didn't really know each other well at that time, but knew very soon in the future we would learn to rely on each other in ways we had never before.

We talked every now and then throughout the year, about what we thought camp would look like this summer. We laughed about the fact that they wanted us to be lifeguards. We got to know each other over coffee and the mutual bond of Christ.

I remember the first time in training I had to go to the bottom of the almost 15 foot pool and retrieve the brick. It was frightening, but I didn't ever imagine I would have to do it again. Not until Hannah and I were partners. We sat there treading water, looking directly at each other. Hannah whispered: Ready, one, two, three. We shoved our head and body under water and suddenly I felt trapped. The bottom was too far down. I surfaced myself panicking as I reached the air. Hannah comes up a few seconds later. She asked what happened. I cant. 

I had never been at the end of myself before. I had never been afraid of anything. She looked at me intently and said "you can do this, Mary Helen." We tried a few more times, with the same results. I felt more and more trapped by the water with every try. Eventually she told me to sit on the edge and relax. And again reminded me "Mary Helen, you can do this." I sat on the edge of the pool as the words sank into who I was. The truth was I could do it. I could get to the bottom and rescue my victim. So what was my problem?

You see, I didn't believe in my God that I was equipped for everything He was preparing for me to do. I doubted my God. I resolved to get to the bottom, because my God was greater. I swam to the middle of the deep end, took a few deep breaths. With every link I went down in the pool, I said one truth to myself.

My God is greater.
Another link.
My God is stronger.
Another link.
My God is higher than any other. 

All of the sudden I felt ground underneath my feet. I looked around me. I was at the bottom of the pool. I pushed off in excitement and resurfaced victorious. Swimming frantically across the pool, I came up to Hannah and said I'm ready. She left the girls she was talking to and we went back into the middle of the deep end. Again she whispered: Ready, one, two, three. We lunged deep into the pool. She delved in first as I headed after her to save my practice victim. I was almost to the bottom when the panic began to set in again, I started to feel trapped. But I looked down and saw Hannah, and remembered her words "Mary Helen, you can do this." I continued down to the bottom, grabbed Hannah and we resurfaced. I had successfully completed my first submerged deep water rescue. Hannah qualified me again. You did it, Mary Helen. 

I still remember that night that everything in my world felt as if it was falling apart. I remember my frantic walk over to Latt-Web. The wind slowly picking up and everything around me getting hazier with every step. I ran up the stairs and walked down the long hallway terrified at what the days ahead would look like. The hall seemed to get longer as I continued down it. I become more frantic with every room I passed. 311, 313, 315, 317, 319, 321. I finally reached 327 and flung the door open unable to move my body anymore. The first thing I saw was Hannah. She gazed up from her computer, her inquiring look begging me to speak.

I couldn't. No words came out in that moment. Nobody understood. No one but Hannah. That fact brought me to uncontrollable sobs the moment she saw me. She ran over and just grabbed me. My body, unable to stand fell to the floor. I soon felt other hands and bodies around me as the seconds passed. But no one knew why I was there, no one but Hannah. She lifted my head and looked directly into my eyes. Mary Helen, you are courageous, she declared. It was my first glimpse in a long time of true Christ-like community. I felt safe in those moments.

Somedays I see Hannah, and am so amazed by how much the Lord shines through her life. I see it in the way she interacts with her pledges, the way she cares for her friends, and the desire to put Christ at the center of the things she does. My favorite days are those where I can sit next to Hannah and stare at the christmas lights on her ceiling and talk about our God. My favorite moments are when I hear a soft voice behind me calling "Smiles" and turn around and see K-So. Hannah Terry will always be one of my favorite people, because she understands, she cares, and she encourages. And she's not afraid to do so.