I think the title of this blog has never rung truer in my life than right now. My world is slowly shattering in a hard but good way. The Lord has caught my heart. This summer He has grabbed me, shaken me, and asked "what are you doing?". And that question has finally started sinking in.

The Lord's been saying "Wake up. Look at me. At my plan. Not the world's. What have you been buying into? What is the world selling to you? A nice life? Good retirement? What are you working for? Is it for me or for yourself?"

Jesus changes everything. His life, the salvation we have in Him changes everything. All our thoughts, all our actions.

So much is in my head. And I've been doing a lot of talking this summer. A lot of writing. Now it's time for some doing.

I could sit here and make promises till the end of the earth. I could swear that I'm not going to mess up. I'm not going to bye into satan's lies. I'm not going to, I'm not going to, I'm not going to.

But I'm human. And I'm slowly realizing my depravity and my need for Christ. Sometimes I consider Christ a nice addition to my life, that He is not really essential. But that couldn't be more far from the truth. We are wretched. And there is nothing more in life that we need than Christ.

I tell you this because I'm excited. In Philippians 2 Paul writes "continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose."

I've been in a state of trembling all day. Because I'm scared. I want to head down the path that leads to Christ. I want to glorify His name. I want to seek God. But school is starting. And I need help. I need Christ. I don't want this year to be about me, and my plans, and my grades, and my status. I want to spend less time this year worrying about me and more about the Lord.

I'm afraid. Afraid of becoming a hypocrite. Of people reading this and seeing no change in my life and therefore ignoring all that I have just said. That's what scares me. But I know that God is working in me just like it says in Philippians.

"Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you." Ephesians 5:14b